It Don't Mean a Thing
by Lerie
Summary: Chapter 7 finally! Will our hero Roxton find the absent Marguerite? Please review, good and bad.
1. At the Beginning

**It Don't Mean a Thing**  
  
By Lerie

Disclaimer: I am sadden to say, I don't own any of the LOST WORLD members... I sure wish I did though...

_Chapter 1: At the Beginning_

The sunlight was just starting to glisten in the winter sky. He stared out the window at the snow-covered grounds. His eyes glazed over as he tumbled deeper and deeper into his thoughts. A loud noise behind him startled him out of his reverie. One of the servants had dropped a vase of flowers.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the old man mumbled over and over as he picked up the pieces.

Roxton sighed, "No big deal." He reached down to help pick up the fragments and the flowers. He absentmindedly handed them to the servant and walked away from the scene. The house was now alive with the hustle and bustle of everyday life and his 'alone' time was gone. As he walked through the manor, he was again consumed by his thoughts. So much, in fact, that he almost ran over his own mother.

"John!" She cried and swerved to avoid colliding with him in the hall. She didn't quite make it and struggled with her balance to stay standing. Roxton's hand shot out instinctively and caught her arm as she almost toppled over.

"Sorry mum."

"John, I am getting to old for this," she laughed.

Roxton just stared at her as though she had two heads.

"John, what is wrong?" Lady Elizabeth Roxton questioned with concern in her eyes.

"Huh? Nothing..." he started. "It is not nothing, John. Please tell me what's wrong. You have been in your own world for days now." She smiled at him, but inside she was worried. When he had first returned from that "Lost World", he was so happy and carefree despite everything that happened in the past, but little by little, each day, he grew more and more sullen and quiet.

"Nothing is wrong, just concentrating on the future." He offered her a slight smile, trying to set her mind at ease.

"Well, I suppose that would occupy my thoughts," she replied, not entirely convinced this was the real reason for his mood of late. "There is a lot yet to be planned in the next 4 months. Weddings don't plan themselves." She smiled and patted his arm as she walked past him and continued with her morning.

He stared after her... a frown growing on his face. He remembered the day he proposed, and although it was only 6 months ago, it seemed a lifetime ago in his mind. Everything had been so much simpler.

* * *

Marguerite arrived at the Roxton estate unannounced. As she rang the bell, she quickly ran her fingers through her long dark tresses and smoothed her clothes. She wanted to look presentable to her love. After all, she was finally going to be back with John after over 2 months. It had taken that long to sort out some of the more shady issues of her past. She had used every gem, resource and favor she had, but it was worth it. Everything for the most part was cleared away. There were still some issues left, but she was confident that everything would work out. After all that finessing, she had rushed back to London as fast as she could. Rushed back to the wonderful lord that stole her heart, not that she really minded. _'Only 4 more months,'_ she chuckled to herself as she looked at her beautiful, sparkling ring. _'I wish 4 days.'_ She knew however, that a proper English wedding took time to plan and the 'right' planning for nobility was all important. Her smile brightened as she thought back to the day John had proposed to her...


	2. The Proposal

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. With the holidays and January being the busiest time where I work, well you can imagine. The rest of the chapters should be out much faster.  A HUGE 'thank you' to all the people who reviewed my first chapter.  You made me smile!  I don't have a beta person, so I apologize for any mistakes. If you are interested in helping beta, let me know.  As always feel free to review, all comments welcome.

On with the show…

Disclaimer: I really wish I owned them… well maybe just Roxton… But nope, still not mine…

**(2)**

They had found the way off the plateau. Amazingly, after 5 years, it was right in front of their noses the whole time.  They were spending the last few days getting everything ready for their departure. 

"No, George, I am not going back to get you another bloody pterodactyl egg. I almost got killed last time," Roxton stated crossly. "It is not my fault that did not work out," he stopped to turn and glare at Ned who was smirking behind his back, "Besides, we'll be back."

"But…" George started, but Roxton quickly cut him off. 

"NO, George." He admonished and quickly turned and walked into the elevator going down to the ground. 

George turned and looked hopefully at Ned. Ned smiled and shook his head. "Count me out too, George. I am not THAT crazy." With that he left the main room towards his room, leaving George standing there alone.

~*~

Roxton stood still, staring at her through the bushes. She was only washing her clothes, but it seemed to him that she was even more beautiful than ever. Perhaps it was just that he just kept falling further in love with her every day.  He exhaled and shook his head, this was not going to finish his work.  He took in her loveliness once more and briskly walked away disappearing into the jungle. Marguerite was in for a surprise alright, he chuckled as his plans worked themselves out in his head. 

Marguerite snapped her head up and peered out into the lush jungle. Her eyes narrowed as she searched out the noise she heard.  She could have sworn someone was out there. Seeing nothing, she sighed and went back to rinsing out her clothes. She could not wait to buy all NEW clothes.  Quickly finishing her chore, she headed back to the treehouse.  Looking at the sun's position in the sky, Marguerite picked up the pace to a brisk walk. She and Veronica were making a trip to the Zanga Village this afternoon and they needed to get started on their trip as soon as possible.  As the treehouse loomed into view, she found herself smiling. She had a feeling things were going to start looking her way.  They were going home.

~*~

In the early hours of the morning, John Roxton found himself staring blankly at the sunrise on the balcony, not really noticing its beauty.  He was convinced his stomach was turning itself inside out. He let out the breath he realized he was holding.  He compulsively gripped the railing of the balcony and his knuckles turned white.  His mind was racing. _'What if he was wrong? What if it was not the right time?'_ He took a deep breath once more and pushed all worries out of his head, it was too late now and he was determined to make this the best day of his life.  He strode into the kitchen and grabbed the basket and his rifle in one fluid motion. He headed for the elevator and went to wait for his beautiful lady, the person who had stolen his heart.

Marguerite and Veronica had reached the pond. They had a wonderful evening and morning with the Zanga, and even had a wonderful conversation about men on the way back.  

As they chatted, Marguerite could not help but think back to the piece of paper in her pocket. She had gotten the little parchment as a "bonus" on a trade she had made.  It looked interesting and even a little promising.  The Zanga had said that it was a map to a 'boundless treasure'.  She was, of course, skeptical. If there was such a thing, she would have assuredly heard of it by now, but the man had been very enthusiastic and the feeling had been infectious.  What was one more treasure hunt before they returned home? Oops, Veronica had asked her a question. Something about Roxton. Surprised at her own lack of concentration, she just shrugged an answer to Veronica.

"Veronica," she started as they reached the pond, "I think that I will stay and perhaps take a stroll around the pond.  You can head back and I will be back to the treehouse after a little while."

"Are you sure? I could keep you company."

"Oh no, that is quite alright. Go back and enjoy some quiet time with Ned." 

Veronica began to grin and Marguerite knew she was happy with that idea.

"If you are sure, " Veronica stated, still smiling.

With a wave of her hands, Marguerite smiled again and stated matter-of-factly, "Of course. I am a big girl and will be perfectly fine."

With that Veronica headed off towards the treehouse and called out, "Don't be late and stay out of trouble."

Marguerite chuckled at that. She never looked for trouble, trouble always found HER.  As soon as Veronica was out of sight, Marguerite took out the small parchment and looked at the tiny map.  It led to a relatively safe area that was not too far from the treehouse, but far enough. 

As she followed the map, she convinced herself that this was all probably a foolish chase with nothing at the end, but she had not had an adventure in some time and was happy to follow this one.  She wished John were with her though. Of course, he would definitely think it was a foolish quest, but secretly wished for his company anyway. 

As she moved closer to the end of the map she was following, her thoughts moved towards Lord John Roxton and just what she was going to do.  That man had stolen her heart, changed many of her views and outlooks on life, forced her to face the fact that she was capable of love and most horrifically (or endearingly, depending on how you looked at it) made her admit that she loved him.  She loved him, she truly did.  It scared her to admit that even to herself, much less out loud, even with all the time that had pasted between them.  She could not help but think that this would somehow end up hurting her in the end, and wondered exactly what would happen when they reached London.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost ran into the huge tree at the top of a flat hilltop, that was supposedly the marker for the 'boundless treasure.'  As she grazed over the ground, she noticed that earth was disturbed at the foot of the tree, but not greatly so.  She took out her tools from her pack and started digging.  In no time at all, she unearthed a small wooden box, about as big as a breadbox. She started to laugh at the size of a 'boundless treasure' but then her eyes narrowed as she thought about the ease in finding this. The map, the route, the digging. This had been way too easy.  She looked up and scanned the landscape for any signs of something or someone else.  This had simply been too easy and it would have been just her luck to be a trap of some sorts.  Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned her most of her attention back to the box, still keeping an eye on her surroundings. 

As she pried open the box, she found herself staring at another box, smaller than the first.  She took that box out and opened it, only to find the same thing. Another smaller box. Twice more produced the same results. Puzzled, she opened the last smallest box yet and looked inside.

Nothing. There was nothing in that box.  Nothing at all.

A frown grew on her face. She was disappointed despite telling herself in the beginning that this was all a waste of time.  With a look of disgust, she moved to head back to the treehouse, when something caught her eye.  She looked at a piece of white paper attached to the lid of the original box.  It read, _'You came all this way, but don't you fret, you will find what you came to get.  Down the hill and take a peek, there you will find the treasure you seek.'_

She laughed at the bad poetry. _'Now I know something is up,'_ she thought, but her curiosity was bubbling over and she took off to the top of the hill.  As she looked down the hill, her eyes grew wide with amazement.  The hillside was full of vibrant colors.  It looked alive with a kaleidoscope of flowers, each more dazzling than the next. She had never seen so many colors, so many flowers as in that field.  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.  The aromas dancing in the air were as heavenly as any she had ever smelled.  She slowly opened her eyes, once more drinking in her surroundings, when she saw him.  He literally seemed to pop up out of the field of flowers.  She walked over to him and saw a blanket and picnic basket in the middle of the field.

With a mock glare, she said, "This was not funny, Roxton."

He smiled sheepishly, "Not funny, romantic." 

She could not hold the fictitious glare any longer and a dazzling smile broke out on her face. "Oh, you don't have much of an ego, huh?"  She gracefully sat down on the blanket facing him.

He reached out and squeezed her hand gently, "Come on, it was fun!"

She laughed, "I suppose it was a little amusing.  How did you arrange all this without me finding out?"

"I cannot reveal my secrets, milady."

She raised her eyebrow. "So this," her arms sweeping across the picnic laid out before them, "is your idea of a 'boundless treasure'?" 

Roxton stared into her eyes, his own darkening with love and passion as he carefully almost whispered his next words.  "No, this is…" and with those words out in the open, he stretched out his hand and opened his palm.  Lying in the middle of his strong hand was the most exquisite ring she had ever seen. A beautiful golden circle with a bluish tinted diamond atop it. She stared at him in shock, a volley of emotions flashing over her face.

Roxton noticed the fear in her eyes and quickly continued, "Marguerite, I love you.  Will you marry me?" As he proclaimed the words he quickly brushed his other hand against her face and his fingers against her lips, preventing the sharp denial he knew she would voice.  "Please, just listen to me.  I love you. I cannot imagine my life without you. I know that you are scared about the future and what London will hold for us, but I know that together we can make everything and anything work.  I cannot promise that life will be perfect or that we will never have problems or tough times, but I can promise that my love… Our love will last and there is nothing that you and I cannot face.  Please say yes, Marguerite. I could not face a world without you." He smiled lovingly at her and cupped her cheek in his hand. Her skin was so soft. Inside, he was holding his breathing, waiting.

Marguerite just stared openly at him, still in shock.  Her impulse to run was immediate, but his hand on her face compelled her to stay.  As she listened to his love poured over his words, she could not help but feel a hope inside of her heart grow warring with the fear in her mind.  As she looked over and over at the beautiful ring in John's hand, she suddenly thought of an obscure memory.  Something an associate once told her.  When the person had learned of Marguerite's love of gems and jewelry and how it had related to her marriages, the woman had been a little dismayed.  The old woman had looked at her sadly and stated to her without real love, those circles of gold did not mean a thing.  At the time Marguerite laughed it off and waved the woman and the advice away. She did not agree with or even truly understand the sentiment at the time. Gazing into John Roxton's eyes, she was beginning to understand those words now.  In his eyes, she saw warmth, compassion, honestly, and above all a never-ending love that he had for her.  As she thought about her life up to the point, she realized that she had never backed away from anything in her life. Perhaps it was time to take a stand. Taking a deep breath, she held his gaze. " John…" Her voice trembled and she stopped and willed calmness into her body.

He met her eyes and held them, willing his love for her into her very being.  His mind was racing, she was going to say no, it was taking too long.  His heart was already breaking and she had not even said anything.  As she began to speak, he once again held his breath and his heart seemed to stop as he waited for the words he longed to hear.

"John, I love you too. I always thought love was a curse, a mixed up emotion to lead people astray or to pain, but perhaps love is something more.  A truth, a belief in something greater than yourself." A beautiful smile began across her face and as she spoke, the smile took over and reached even into the depths of her eyes. "I am terrified, but I hope… believe, together, we could overcome anything.  So…. Yes."

"Please Marguerite, I do…" He suddenly stopped as the words she spoke registered in his mind. He had been so sure she would reject him that it took a moment to realize what she had said.  "Yes?!!?! You said yes?!" He practically shouted at her.

"I said yes," she whispered and if possible, the smile upon her face grew brighter as if to rival the sun in warmth.

"YES!" He jumped up and picked her up, twirling her around until they were both dizzy. Suddenly, he leaned into her and his lips brushed hers lightly, then with a mind-numbing passion he deepened the kiss and gently laid her down on the blanket. They stared at each other hungrily and as they reached for each other, the world around them faded.


	3. Back to Reality

A/N: I am so sorry that this has taken soooo long to update. I have been drowning in work, classes, weddings, sick 2-year-olds and life. Plus I think my muse took a vacation. But have no fear, I now have a life preserver and my muse has no more vacation days left. These chapters should come a lot faster. 

Thank you so much to all of you that have reviewed my story. You make me very happy and I promise to move the chapters out of my head and into the computer much faster.

_Chapter 3: Back to Reality_

As the door opened Marguerite snapped back to the present. She smiled brilliantly at Charles, the Roxtons' butler as she greeted him. "Good Morning Charles!"

"Good Morning to you Miss." Charles smiled back and moved out of the doorway to allow her entrance. He genuinely liked Marguerite and found her a breath of freshness among the stale pseudo royalty that tended to flock around his Lord. He believed Lord Roxton and Miss Marguerite were a perfect match.

"That it is, Charles. How are you? Are John and Lady Roxton around this morning?"

"I am quite well, miss. Thank you and yes, both the Lord and Lady are awake and about this morning. It is good to see you again. I do believe they both have missed you."

If possible, Marguerite's smile grew even brighter and she leaned in to whisper to Charles, "Really?"

"Without a doubt, miss. Without a doubt. In fact, the Lord has not seemed himself since you left."

As Charles finished, Lady Elizabeth Roxton entered the room and gave a small gasp at seeing Marguerite. Within seconds, though, she had recovered and walked briskly, straight to Marguerite. Her arms encircled the startled woman, and she gave her a heartfelt hug. "I am extremely pleased to see you here and looking well, my dear." Lady Roxton smiled as she started to step back from the embrace.

Marguerite blushed slightly at the sediment and surprised the older woman by hugging her back fiercely. " I am happy to be back. I have missed you and of course, I have missed John a little as well." She laughed with a twinklish spark in her eye.

"I am honored to think that I am missed more than my son, but somehow as much as I think you enjoy my company, I don't quite believe that is entirely true."

"Well, perhaps not entirely, Lady Roxton."

Lady Elizabeth laughed. "Marguerite, please, call me Elizabeth. You are to be my daughter soon and formalities are forbidden. Now, let's find my handsome son and surprise him with your presence." Elizabeth's thoughts turned to thoughts of her troubled son and her smile dimmed slightly.

Marguerite noticed immediately. "What is wrong La—" she started, but swiftly changed her words at her Ladyship's mock glare, "—Elizabeth?"

Hooking her arm to Marguerite's, Lady Roxton replied, "Let's chat as we walk."

As they walked through the manor, Lady Elizabeth told Marguerite of John's strange behavior and moods along with the conversations she has had with him. "Oh my dear, I am not sure if it is anything to worry about though. I am sure he just missed you terribly. I know I did, " she said with a smile in her voice.

Marguerite worried inwardly at this news, but put it out of her head as they approached the library where, Lady… _Elizabeth_ insisted her husband-to-be had to be hiding. As Elizabeth opened the door and glided through, she instantly saw John standing at the window. He seemed to be staring out into the woods and she wondered again, if there was something truly bothering him other than Marguerite's absence.

"John, we have a visitor to see us."

"Mother, I really do not want to deal with any people right now, " he sighed, not looking away from the window and barely noticing anything in the room, including his mother.

"Tough," was the instanteous response from both the Lady and the bride-to-be.

Upon hearing Marguerite's voice, Roxton snapped back to his surroundings. "Marguerite?" He meet her eyes and faster than she could respond, he was across the room and pulling her into his arms. "I have missed you so much, my love." At this, he smiled. The first true smile his mother had seen on him in quite a while.

"I have missed you as well, John. More than you can believe." She sighed happily, overjoyed to be back in his arms.

"Are you back for good? Did everything go alright?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice.

"Yes, John. Everything looks good." She pulled him closer to her and let her head fall on his shoulders.

"I am so glad. I have been so worried about you. I wish you would have let me come with. But the important thing is you are back."

"Yes, and I am sure I have a lot of worked to do for our wedding. I know your mother will be happy to have help."

At the mention of the wedding, Roxton seemed to stiffen slightly in her arms. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, searching for something to tell her what was wrong. "John, are you alright?" 

"Yes, Marguerite. Just a little tired. Let's see if lunch is ready." He smiled at both the ladies and hooked his arms around both, pulling them to the dining room. The two women glanced at each other and confirmed the other's thoughts. Somehow, that smile just did not reach his eyes. Marguerite knew then that there was definitely something wrong.

_TBC in Chapter 4: The Trouble with Roxton_

A/N: Sorry it was short, but the next one should be longer. Thanks!


	4. The Trouble With Roxton

A/N: Thanks to Clux, LadyKim and JessieGirl for their reviews. I appreciate it immensely! Well my muse is on time this week and work is slow... Hence a new chapter... Not really long, but hopefully good.

See Chapter 1 for disclaimers

_Chapter 4- The Trouble with Roxton_

Two weeks went by since Marguerite's return, but she had yet to figure out what was going on with Roxton. Her instincts and heart were telling her that all was not fine. She could not put her finger on it, but something was just not right. On the outside, he seemed perfectly fine and happy that she was back, but his eyes did not reflect complete happiness. She wondered if he was feeling fine physically, if he was just tired or if it was another matter entirely. He avoided all her questions and she was somewhat reluctant to use covert means on him to find out what was going on. Time, though, was not on her side as the wedding date drew closer. She needed to know what was wrong before then. Not for the first time, she realized she missed Veronica more than ever. Her sister by circumstance would have been able to help her sound out her frustrations and help with her own fears. Regardless, she vowed to find out exactly what was going on even if it killed her.

Roxton was sitting in on yet another dull and purportedly important meeting. As he half-listened to the solicitor, manager and his uncle go on and on about the estate, the seat in Parliament and a great number of other things he was not inclined to care about, his mind wandered again about his upcoming marriage and life. Ever since coming back from the "Lost World," his life was bombarded with responsibilities. While he was not one to abandon duty, he had never wanted to be Lord. He had always known it was his brother's right and that had always suited him just fine. When William died, he lost a part of himself and unintentionally ran from the duties that were now his responsibility. The "Lost World" trip being the last in a long line of diversions. He knew it was time to settle down and take care of the family, but a part of him felt as though doing this meant he was leaving William behind. Of course, another part of him was also feeling as though he was being caged and that was a feeling he did not like at all.

Roxton was also tired of all the social functions. He had been to so many parties, teas and other tedious gatherings, that he thought he would go insane. At each one, dozens of ladies practically assaulted him, paying no attention to the fact it had been announced he was to be married. Apparently, no one cared. At least, the vampish socialites did not seem to care. Others did care. His uncle, for one. He endured numerous lectures from Phillip on a daily basis. Phillip did not think Marguerite was the right "fit" for the family and was constantly pressuring him to break off the engagement and take a more suitable wife. He was not the only one. All the people he had considered friends before being lost a world away seemed to agree with his uncle. Although all of them, even his uncle, agreed that Marguerite was charming and beautiful, they believed her background (and they did not even know half of it) did not lend itself to being a Lord's wife. He was extremely tired of defending his choice. In their opinion, love was not really a part of the equation. The only one who seemed to genuinely care and approve of Marguerite was his mother. But he wondered if it she would be happy with anyone, as long as he married.

Roxton ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled a large sigh. Through all his musings, the meeting had adjourned and he wandered through the manor until coming into the library. His body seemed on autopilot as his mind still contemplated his life. When Marguerite and himself first arrived back at his home, he was amazingly happy. Regardless of the perils and dangers of the Plateau, he had loved it there. But in honesty, he loved Marguerite more and happily left with her to come back to London. It had been exciting when first back, everything new and fresh. Then Marguerite left to work out issues from the past and as his duties took hold, life was distinctly less fresh and new.

Marguerite was now back safely and he was thankful for that. He had worried every day that something would go wrong and she would not make it back. He berated himself every day as well for not going with her. She would have let him come with her after some persuasion, he knew, but his uncle and mother convinced him that he need to start working on the estate and getting everything else moving along.

Marguerite. He did love her, he was positive about that, but all the misgivings about his duties, his life, his marriage and even other people's views on marriage were causing him nothing but heartache and headache. Was love enough? Did she feel trapped? He was feeling crowded, surrounded by everyone and everything. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. At times he could feel the walls closing in, especially at wedding and estate plans. He just did not understand. Everything was so right on the Plateau. He loved Marguerite and she loved him. That was enough. Now the thought of his wedding alone made him want to run. Had his feelings changed? Was his uncle and peers right? Did he just settle in the Plateau? Perhaps life was not without a sense of irony. He fought so long to break through to Marguerite and counter all her doubts and now he was the one with the doubts. He had promised forever, how could he take that back? Did he really want to? He knew he was being sullen and distant to both his mother and Marguerite. He was not sure how much more he could take.

He rubbed his temples and for the millionth time, wished Ned or Challenger was here to give him advice. He had a feeling he desperately needed it.

Another week went by and Marguerite could take no more. John had not only grown more distant, but alarmingly irritable as well. Marguerite took a deep breath and steeled herself. She knew Roxton was in the study. This was it. He **WAS** going to tell her what was bothering him. She was hopelessly in love with him, but that did not give him the right to act like this. She needed answers and wanted to help him deal with whatever was bothering him. She opened the door and crossed the room. She stopped a few feet away from him and their eyes met. At once Marguerite knew this was going to be a long and unhappy day that could change everything.

_TBC in Chapter 5: All Good Things Must..._


	5. All Good Things Must

_AN: Wow, It seems like forever since I updated. I think it was before weddings, illness, and disasters. But upon reading a story that I invest a lot of time in, only to have it never been finished, I was ready to kill the author. I then realized I was just as bad. My muse took over. Sorry for any mistakes. And thanks to all the people who have reviewed my story. If it were not for you, I would never have the courage to turn my thoughts into words. Thank you!_

Disclaimer: I still don't own them, but Christmas is coming up!!

_Chapter 5: All Good Things must...._

Marguerite closed her eyes and took one more deep breath. She was Marguerite... Parsifal, an International Jewel Thief, and a whole lot more... SHE did not back away from anything and now was not the time to start. _'Win or lose, it's time. Too bad the stakes were so high.'_ She opened her eyes and looked again into Roxton's eyes, daring him to run. "We need to talk."

Roxton sighed heavily and turned away from her. He moved to the window and lingered there, staring outside. In reality, to look anywhere but in her eyes. "I know. The caterers are having issues and the florist states he cannot possible get those orchids Mother wants and the whole bloody thing is threatening to fall apart. You would think-"

"That's not what I meant."

He turned in her direction, but still could not bring himself to look in her eyes. "Oh. What do you mean?" He asked quietly, eyes still unnaturally down on the floor.

She slowly walked to him and cupped his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "Talk about this," she stated as she pointed to herself and then him. "What is wrong with us? What is going on in your head? And don't tell me 'nothing' again, Roxton, you don't lie very well."

He looked at her. What could he say? "I am just tired, Marguerite. It seems nothing is working in this wedding or haven't you noticed?" He winced a little. That had come out a little more sarcastic than he would have liked. He did not want to challenge Marguerite, just get her to leave him alone about all of this.

Marguerite touched his cheek softly. "I know things haven't been working out the greatest, but don't use this wedding as your only excuse. This... thing that is wrong with you has been there since before the wedding decided to go to hell. So, again, what is wrong with you?"

Roxton flinched at her soft touch, but harsh words. He pulled away from her and stalked across the room to the desk. "What's wrong with me? Wrong with ME? So this is instantly my fault? Everything is going wrong and it must somehow be my fault... is that it?" He was yelling by the time he had finished. Some part of him realized he was just trying to cover his own issues, but he was too lost in the madness of this sudden anger to think clearly.

"I did not say the wedding problems were your fault, Roxton. I AM saying that YOU are the one having some sort of problem. I am handling the wedding disasters fine, your mother is handling them fine, the only one that is not, is YOU. YOU are clearly not fine despite your hourly instance that you are fine and nothing is wrong. Well?" Marguerite returned his attitude right back.

"I AM fine. I am tired of all this wedding... stuff. It should not be so bloody hard to walk down the aisle and say 'I do'. Everything is getting messed up and I am tired of it all. There, are you happy?"

"Not especially. Your mother and I can handle the wedding. Now what is really going on?" Marguerite was determined to find out the truth, she had not come this far for nothing.

"I just told you. I am fine. Drop it, now." Roxton glared at her, ready to boil over.

"Liar."

He practically vaulted over the desk and grabbed her arm. "I am not a liar. I am a well-respected and honorable man. I.do.NOT.lie," he seethed out, an intense fire blazing in his eyes.

Marguerite bit back her own angry retort and decided anger was not working. She needed to try a different direction. "Then show me. I love you and I am going to be your wife, please tell me what is wrong," she implored him, coming awfully close to begging. _'Only for John,'_ she thought.

He let go of his grip on her arm, almost shoving her away from him. He really could not take anymore of this. First his uncle, those 'friends', this wedding, the increasing nightmares, and now Marguerite. Everything was closing in and he simply could not take it any more. "I am tired of all of this. Parties, estates, planning, society, playing this... this part. I regret it all. I am tired of the constant questions on my choices and the constant bombardment of responsibilities that normal men would not care about. My Uncle will not agree with me on anything, least of all..." He stopped, even in his anger, he did not want to bring this up.

"Least of all, what? Roxton?"

"Nothing, Just leave this alone, Marguerite."

"Roxton... John, let me help you. Share your problems with me."

Roxton laughed harshly. "Oh, that is priceless. The Queen of Secrets wants me to share MY problems... my secrets with her. You cannot HELP, Marguerite."

She bit down another angry retort and replied, "How do you know until you try?"

"You just can't!"

"Roxton-"

Roxton lost complete control on his thoughts and blurted out, "He doesn't want me to marry you. He does not want your 'kind' in the family. Apparently, he is not alone in that opinion in 'the circle'." His hand instinctively went to cover his mouth, upset that he had blurted this out, but there was no stopping the train wreck about to occur. He added, "Are you happy now?"

Marguerite just looked at him, the hurt clearly evident for a fraction of a second in her eyes, before the composure took over her face. She tried to laugh slightly. "Well it is a good thing I am not marrying your uncle, isn't it?" She looked directly in his eyes, but he was not smiling. His look, said it all. "Only it's not just your uncle is it? Roxton, is it?"

"Marguerite, please..."

"No really, Roxton. Is that what you think? Are you having second thoughts? Your heart has changed? I am not good enough for your family? The plateau was great, but in the harsh light of London, I just don't measure up? Is that it? Tell me!" Her voice quivered at the end, her eyes almost begging him to lie. She had put all her trust in him and she felt as though her whole world was crumbling. _'How could I have been so stupid?'_

"Marguerite, it's not-"

"Do you still love me? John, answer me, do you still love me?" She had interrupted him, realizing suddenly that he had not said 'I love you' since the first day she had been back. She waited with her eyes closed for his answer. She knew as long as he loved her, they could overcome anything.

He was trapped. He could not lie, but he did not want to hurt her. He had no clue what was going on in his head or heart right now. He knew, though, she deserved the truth. Taking a deep breath, he replied, "I don't know... I just don't know anymore." With that he left the room, unable to take the tears he knew would be on her face. He quickly walked straight out the door of the estate into his car. He needed a drink... more than one. Anything to take away the pain he just caused.

Marguerite stood in her room. She quickly checked to make sure everything was right. She walked swiftly to John's room and placed the note and the ring on the mantle of the fireplace. She turned down the hall and to the front door. At the door, she picked up her old suitcase, brushed the tears from her eyes and walked out the door to her taxi, never once looking back.

_Stay Tuned for Chapter 6: It Don't Mean a Thing... Coming to a computer near you (and way sooner than you think!)_


	6. It Don't Mean a Thing

AN: Oh My Goodness... I have updated. I feel as though I have been living in an insane asylum for the last few months. The sad thing is I had half the chapter already written months ago. Okay. My resolution is to have this finished in the 2 months. I am moving, so I need an outlet for frustration.

Thanks SOOOO much to everyone that has reviewed. Hershey hugs to all. You are wonderful. On with the show, however short it may be.

Disclaimer: What do you mean they are not mine? I really really wanna keep Roxton, even if he is being stupid right now. Can I buy him?

* * *

_Chapter 6: It Don't Mean a Thing_

Roxton had been sitting at the bar for hours. Hours upon hours. He had hoped by now he wouldn't have any conscious thought left in his brain, but he did. How he did, he had no clue. It had been his goal. Anything to numb the pain. He failed even that. Roxton slumped further into his chair. Even in a drunken state, his heart hurt immensely. He had hurt Marguerite. He told her he was unhappy with everything. He even said he didn't know if he loved her anymore. What was he thinking? If possible, he slumped further into the chair. Any lower and he would be sitting on the floor.

"Another drink" he yelled loudly to the barkeep. "And hurry it up!"

The bartender looked at the drunken idiot and shook his head. This chump had been in here for almost 5 hours and had drunk enough for a whole ship of sailors. There was no way he was giving him another drink. "I don't think so, mate. You have definitely had enough."

Roxton summoned his worst glare for the man and shouted even louder at him, "I am a peer of the Realm and you do not tell me when I have bloody well had enough." He leaned over the bar as he shouted, almost falling over the bar and onto the man.

"What is your problem?" Jeff asked as he pushed the man back into his chair. He held his breath a moment, worried the stupid git would fall off the chair backwards. He didn't and Jeff thankfully let go of his breath. He did not need any problems or legal issues because this drunk could not stay on his chair.

"Everything. Everything is a problem," Roxton whispered, putting his head to rest on the bar. He hoped it would end the spinning.

"Well, mate, why don't you tell me the problem and maybe it won't seem bad enough to warrant death by ale." Jeff put on a smile and shored up his listening mask. If he could get him talking and not drinking, things would work out fine.

"I am an idiot… a stupid idiot…. A bloody-"

Jeff cut him off. "OK. I get it. You are an idiot. This has to do with what?" he asked, hoping to get him moving and out of the bar in a reasonable time and manner.

"Everything. I screwed up everything. I cannot even get drunk properly." Roxton's voice lowered and took on an emotional edge.

"You look drunk enough to me, mate."

"Not drunk enough. I hurt my lovely lady. The woman I promised to love forever, to always set straight, to never give up on. She saved my life more than once you know. She is so… beautiful. I could get lost in her long raven tresses or her soulful eyes. But no…" John paused, fighting down the lump that had appeared in his throat. He was silent for a long moment and Jeff wondered if he had passed out. "I told her that…that my uncle and all my 'friends' did not think she was a suitable bride. That I was having second thoughts about marrying her. I told my beautiful Marguerite that I didn't love her…" Roxton trailed off, becoming too miserable to speak.

Jeff looked at him and shook his head. For a moment, he had actually started to feel sorry for the man. Up until the uncle bit. The man looked like he was probably a good guy normally, but he was right about himself at this moment. _'He really is an idiot.'_ "What did you do a thing like that for?"

Roxton moaned and wrapper his arms around his head. "I just told you. My uncle says she is not appropriate for a Lord. He said the others would never accept her and I would be making it difficult to keep our status and she had too much past history."

Jeff shook his head. "Yeah right mate. What's the real reason?"

Roxton lifted his head off the bar and gave the old bartender an intense look. "I- I am not sure I am good enough for this," he whispered almost too quietly for Jeff to hear him.

"Whatcha mean this?"

Roxton waved his hand erratically over the bar and himself. "This… This life, this duty, this responsibility. It was never supposed to be mine. This was my brother's life. I can't replace my brother…" He looked straight into the bartender's eyes and mumbled, "How can I live my brother's life."

Jeff looked into Roxton's eyes and swore he say a very tortured soul in them. "Look, mate. I don't think we are supposed to live someone else's life. Stop trying. Live your own. Make your own choices. You cannot be afraid to stand up to everyone and take control. You're a 'Peer of the Realm' you said, start acting like it."

Roxton turned away from the man's pressing look and glanced at his drink. "You don't understand."

"I understand perfectly. You are afraid of failing, of letting everyone down and not being as good as your brother."

"I am NOT afraid of anything," Roxton spat out.

"Then damn well act like it! Grow a few and go home. And talk to your girl. Own up to your faults and beg forgiveness. If she loves you, she'll understand, after she makes ya pay for it, that is."

Roxton just stared at the man as if he had grown two heads. He shook himself out of his daze and actually smiled for the first time in quite a while. As he headed out the door and to a cab, he threw out his parting words over his shoulder at the bartender. "I will… and she will."

* * *

His head hurt, but the pain was surprisingly helpful. He honestly had no idea how he had gotten to bed last night, but he remembered the conversation with the bartender at the bar. The man had made sense, even in the alcoholic haze. He needed to stop living a life comparing himself to William and how he would have lived this life. He needed to let go and move on. He WAS a lord and it was HIS life. He felt as though he had awakened from a dream and clearly thinking for the first time in quite a while. 

He had been up for a while, thinking of the right way to apologize to Marguerite. He knew he would have a lot of things to make up for not the least of which was the horrible things he had said and did. Roxton walked slowly out of his room and into the hall. He had already looked in her room and found that despite the still earliness of the morning, she was not still in bed. He stopped in various rooms throughout the manor, looking in each for signs of his lovely lady.

He grew a little panicky upon reaching the library, her favorite room, and seeing no sign of her. Moments after entering the cozy room, Charles found him.

"Charles, have you seen Marguerite this morning? I seem to have misplaced her" he chuckled, trying to ease his mind.

"Not this morning, sir, but I saw her go out last night after you. She looked like she was carrying a tattered bag or suitcase."

"What!" Roxton tried not to panic.

"Yes, sir. I believe I saw a note for you on the fireplace here in the library." With that, Charles left the young man's presence.

Roxton walked quickly to the fireplace and sure enough, there was an envelope with his name on it. He stared at his name written in her beautiful handwriting. He took a deep breath and tore open the envelope. As he took out the note, he heard a clink. The sound of metal striking stone. He absentmindedly picked up the fallen object as his eyes ran over the note. As he read the note, his eyes were drawn to the shiny object.

_Dear Roxton,_

_I have thought a long while over this. I have to leave. I am giving you your space. I cannot stay here if your heart, if your love has really changed. Please take care of yourself. _

_Love, Marguerite_

_P.S. Keep the ring. I don't want it. I realized that without love, it does not mean anything. It is just a rock. Do with it what you will._

The note fell to the ground un-noticed. All Roxton's attention was on his hand. She had truly left and ran. She ran away from him believing he did not love her, at least, not enough. His trembled and his legs gave out. He sank to the floor without a word. As the tears fell, he did not even bother to try and stop them; he could only stare at the golden circle in the palm of his hand. It was exactly like this, that his mother found him an hour later.

* * *

Next up- Chapter 7: Chasing Rainbows 


	7. Chasing Rainbows

_A/N: Oh My! I never thought it would take this long to update. I had this chapter started for the longest time, but could not seem to finish it. Real Life has been extremely harsh lately. On the plus side, depression brings out my desire to write. I have the next chapter almost complete as well. _

_---------_

_Chapter 7: Chasing Rainbows_

He had been searching for her for well on 2 months now and still nothing. He was extremely frustrated and struggling to come up with more leads as to where she might have gone. His mother had told him under no circumstances was he to come back without Marguerite, though he needed no persuasion in that. As frustrated and worried as he was, he was not about to give up on her or them. This mess was his fault and he was determined to make everything better. He just did not know how.

He had already inquired through most of his contacts in England, France and beyond and no one had heard anything about Marguerite or anyone fitting her description. He had also been to Challenger's house numerous times, but the Professor insisted that he did not know anything about Marguerite's vanishing act. He even tried contacting Ned and Veronica, but as they were all keeping a low profile about the "Lost World" he did not want to draw unnecessary attention to them unless he had to. He had sent a discreet letter, but had not heard back from them yet.

He just came from Paris, from a lead that had turned into a dead end. The woman in Paris that his friend had contacted him about was not Marguerite. Not even close.

He dropped his bags in his London flat and slumped into the closest chair. He missed her so much. He was incredibly stupid for even thinking that he could have let her go. She meant the world to him and he had gone and thrown it away over idiotic doubts and foolish pride.

He decided to call upon Challenger and arrange to have supper with him. He needed a sounding board for more ideas and he strangely enough, he had yet to meet Jessie in person.

-------------------------

"Challenger, I just don't know where to look now. All my leads have turned up nothing and I am so worried that I have lost her for good. I cannot let that happen."

Challenger looked at him with sympathetic eyes and a hint of something else, although what, Roxton could not say.

"I understand your frustration, my boy, I do, but you hurt her a lot and I am not sure she wants to be found, especially by you."

"I just need to explain things to her, talk to her, tell her I have been a complete idiot."

"It will probably take more than that judging by your account of the problem."

"I know, George. I just need a chance," Roxton sighed and seemed to slump down even further in the velvet chair.

George Challenger looked at the poor man and closed his eyes. He didn't think he had ever seen Roxton looking so upset and depressed. 'These last 2 months have really taken a toll on him. I really wish I hadn't made that promise.' He really wanted to help Roxton with Marguerite, but he had made a promise to her and in keeping it, he was hurting another close friend... a son. John had hurt her extremely bad, but didn't everyone deserve a second chance?

As both men sat in silence, each very much absorbed in their own thoughts, the savior of both men walked in the door.

"George, the supper is almost ready," Jessie smiled at her husband and turned to the dejected man on the chair. "You must be Lord John Roxton. I am happy to finally meet you. George talks about you so much that I feel like I know you already."

Roxton stood up and greeted the pretty woman. "It is a pleasure to meet you as well. Challenger has talked about you quite a bit too. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you. I hope you will have a pleasant dinner with us. I wasexcited when George invited you. I simply could not wait to meet another person from his 'Lost World'"

"Another person?" Roxton asked, his face reflecting his puzzlement.

George tried unsuccessfully to stop Jessie from any further disclosure, but she either ignored him or did not see his subtle attempts for her to stop. In fact, before he could jump in and say anything to handle the encroaching disaster, she was already speaking.

"Yes, I had the privilege of meeting the lovely Miss Krux not to long ago. She was a delight. Very quiet, but personable. It was a shame she did not stay longer. She kept telling me she did not want to impose and had to leave on a trip, but the few days she was here were pleasant," Jessie finished and smiled. "I wish she would call upon us again, but I remember her saying she had to leave to visit some friends. I had thought I would meet you at the same time as her with all the stories George told me about the two of you." Jessie looked over at her husband and suddenly frowned. He did not look very happy.

John Roxton was speechless... for about 30 seconds before the fury erupted. He twisted around to George with a furious glare. Both Challengers could feel the heat and anger radiating off the man before he even spoke a word.

"YOU KNEW! All this time and you KNEW!" Roxton's hands clenched over and over into fists and back again.

"Now John, I really don't think..."

"This was a secret? What on earth for?" Jessie asked.

Meeting John's furious look with his own defiant one, he decided he could justify this and explained to both his wife and Roxton exactly what transpired 2 months ago, minus the tiniest bit of information.

As he told his tale, it had the desired affect on Roxton. John visibly calmed down. Listening to Challenger's account, he could understand his predicament even if he did not agree. What he wanted now was her current whereabouts, which he was certain George Challenger knew.

"Challenger... George... Where is she? I need to find her."

"John, I can't. I swore not to tell anyone where she went." George looked genuinely sorry for the poor man and wished he had not promised Marguerite to keep silent.

Jessie, though, had heard enough. She shook her head and chastised her husband. "Really George, how could you promise such a thing? For being a genius, you can be such an idiot at times. It is obvious the two of them need to work this out. After finally hearing the whole story, I can plainly see Marguerite was miserable when she was here and this poor man is just as miserable." At that she turned to Roxton and gave him a hopeful smile. "If it helps at all Lord Roxton, Miss Krux mentioned visiting friends. I believe the other 2 people from your 'Lost World'... Ned and Veronica?"

Roxton seemed stunned at her outburst, but a smile slowly spread across his face and before he could stop himself, he had picked her up and swung her around exuberantly. He suddenly realized what he had done and blushing red, put her down. He quickly took his leave of the Challengers and practically ran out the door.

At last, he had the trail.


End file.
